Hulk Hogan and Rin Tezuka in Super Turbo Adventure 64
by DevineInfinity
Summary: Join Hulk Hogan the legendary wrestlers and Rin Tezuka the most quotable but confusing character of Katawa Shoujo in an epic, chair gripping, mouth watering, eye blessing adventure! Featuring Iggy Pop, Cat Girls, Trolls and uranus! So professionally written with a massively interesting story, you will never want to leave your seat!
1. Chapter 1: The beginning of the memes

Made by: IJUSTWANNABUILDWITHLEGOWHY and Lul Lollenson.

Uncensored

HULK HOGAN AND RIN TEZUKA IN SUPER TURBO ADVENTURE 64

Hulk Hogan got up out of his lovely bed. He stretched out and had a smile on his moustached face. The birds where singing and it was raining, my oh my how wonderful. Hulk picked up his "I love Sonic the hedgehog" limited edition mug, and then went out to go take a dump.

Later on in the house Rin was sitting on the couch doing nothing as usual, she had no job, lost all of her friends when she traded them in for Star Wars Season 4, and no money because she spent it on a cushion for the couch which had Michael Bay on it.

Hulk Hogan after doing the do, went downstairs and saw his lovely wife Blaze the Cake sitting on the floor. He sassed over to her, giving her the eyes. Blaze meowed in return. Rin stared at the couple making out awkwardly which reminded her of many Visual Novels and pieces of artwork that does the same thing it was pretty exciting like eating ice cream that you just found out was moldy. Hulk Hogan looked over at Rin, and gave her a wink as if to say "Run before the alien robots find out that we know that we're in the matrix." Rin was bewildered by this command and then stood up and attempted to run but she only got so far as to falling flat faced on the floor because she tripped over her own feet which had very bad hitboxes.

Suddenly, thousands of men in suits who all looked exactly the same appeared all of a sudden, and Hulk threw Blaze the cake in all of their faces. "OOH YEEHH" He screamed and then ran towards Rin. Rin started crying and screaming in utter terror as one of them walked up to her and yelled "OH MY FUCKING GOD ARE YOU RIN!? RIN TEZUKA!? PLZ LAT ME HAVE UR AUTOBATH" and then suddenly Hulk did a 360 noscope kick in the face to that one. "COME ON LIL GIRL, IF WE DON'T RUN WE'LL BE FUCKED UP THE ASS WITH A 10 FOOT POLE IN NO TIME." and he held out his hand to her. Rin looked at the hand and then said "Uhh I have no arms… you have to hold me like im Elise from Sonic 06"  
Hulk then stared at her for a minute, and then a single tear went down his cheek. "This is what I've waited for my whole life." He picked her up like she was indeed Elise, put a crown on her head, and then ran off at super sonic speed. This was what he always wanted to do, ever since he was a little boy. Rin all the while had her mouth hung open in excitement from actually being held in the air for once in her life, she even started painting the walls with dribble because of how long she kept her mouth open. Another reason not to go outside, which Hulk suddenly did when he ran for the door and punched one of the men in the face with his foot.

Hulk was going so fast, he was going faster then Sonic could in his new game Sonic BOOM (buy it now)! He was going so fast, he ran up one of the walls of the neighbor's house and hopped onto the roof, only to kick a pigeon off of it and claim the roof as his castle. "BOOYA!". Rin leaped out his arms and then observed her sights, everything was so bootifal, the city was a huddled mess and the aliens made the Community Center and the village district go green with there blood, so amazing 420/5 stars "Would play again" IGN. But suddenly Rin started shaking and loosing balance and was about to face a terrible death, and she was so pret- I mean young! Hulk caught her before it was too late, but the shaking wasn't stopping. As soon as Hulk looked up, he saw the most disgusting thing he had ever seen in his life, and that's saying something. It was a massive blue monstrosity of the highest order. It was covered in disgusting vaines and on it's head was a beautiful feathered hat with a blue trim around the edges, and on the monster's nose was a pair of glasses. It was Chaos! Only he had found some beautiful accessories at the mall. Hulk put a hand to his chin, he was in awe at how fabulous Chaos looked. That hat was a great touch to really put that outfit together. Rin on the other hand was attempting to draw the monster with a now-suddenly-here piece of A20 paper using preschool colouring crayons that literally appeared out Hulks ass. Hulk was surpised that Rin knew that he kept crayons up his ass, but he just went along with it because hey this was the matrix. "LIL GIRL, I KNOW A WAY TO GET OUT OF THIS SIMULATION, BUT IT WON'T BE EASY." He yelled with the utmost importance. The only reply that Rin showed was by carrying on drawing pulling a face that looked like she was constipaited, "LIL GIRL, MY TEAM OF HARDCORE WRESTLERS ARE ON THE OUTSIDE PLANNING TO BLOW THIS SIMULATION TO THE GROUND. WE HAVE FOUND OUT WHO IS BEHIND ALL OF THIS, BUT YOU DON'T LIKE WHO IT IS I'LL TELL YOU THAT.". Rin suddenly turned around in shock, the peice of paper flying out of existence and the crayons going who knows where, "Please tell me its Shizune" Rin said crossing her toes as hard as she could. "NO, IT'S A YOUNG MAN NAMED HISAO NAKAI. HE IS THE MASTER OF THE MATRIX, THE ONE BEHIND EVERYTHING." Rin opened her mouth wide in complete shock, she never knew it could be a protoganaist! Once she calmed down she spoke very quietly almost mumbling "He dates everyone in are school and then everyone forgets him once….stuff happens and then he dates another girl"

"SEE! HE'S THE MASTER OF THE MATRIX. NOW COME, WE MUST ESCAPE TO THE REAL WORLD LIL GIRL" Hulk put out his arms so Rin could jump into them. Rin leaped into his arms making strange cat noises and snuggling up looking quite cute actually.

Hulk was weirded out by this and made a face, and then jumped off of the roof onto the next house. He then jumped off of the next house and made his way to a lake with a phoneboof next to it. Standing there was none other then…. Jesus. No wait, that's not Jesus, it was just some dude with long hair and was wearing a bathrobe. It was Iggy Pop! Hulk Hogan walked over to him, a gergant look on Iggy's horse like face. "Hulk! We've gotta go quickly, that slime man is gonna destroy us all if the bombs don't!". After not saying anything for almost a hour and 45 minutes Rin yelled "YOU GUYS I CAN DEFUSE THE BOMBS USING MY TOOTHBRUSH!" Hulk and Iggy looked at the girl, only for Iggy to reply "No girlie, we need that bomb to go off to destroy the horrible bastadly assterly monster that is Hiasstho"

"IGGY I THINK IT'S HEA**O" Hulk tried to correct. "No no no you got it all wrong its HeValve Nazzi" said Rin in annoyed tone correcting Hulk Hogan suddenly holding a stick of dynamite inbetween her feet. Hulk then took the dynamite and ate it. He didn't have breakfast and explosives was his favorite food. Rin wined about how she lost her magic red stick which she was going to use as a german sausage warmer. Rin heaved a long sigh, knowing that she was once again a generic damsel in distress with no powers no abilities and no quality's she may as well have continued to have diarreha from the aftermath of eating mexican food while watching a Art Documentary with South Park being played at the side of it. Just then several buildings exploding all at the same time. Iggy in an act of panic, dragged everyone into the phonebooth with him to reaveal that inside the phonebooth it was really a portapotty! The portapotty insides reminded Hulk of his childhood, and he cried manly tears. Iggy pat his back sympathetically. Rin shuffled in a useless attempt to make room and then said "G-guys, im claustrophobic, I-I-I can-n't handle th-this", then she started shaking and sweating gritting her teeth as she struggled to keep herself together. Memories of when she was locked in a storage room closet for 3 days for not painting Shizune and Misha good enough were flooding back to her head, the harsh words they said and when they forcefully dragged her in the closet, Misha's demonic laugh that always sounded just like Wario's and Shizune's attempt to do Lugi's death stare. Rin was starting to break and began crying and started to kick the walls in as if it would make more room, causing the portapotty to shake violently. Suddenly the portapotty door opened, and everyone fell out of it and all the contents of the toilet with them as well. The spotless white room was now covered in Iggy Pop's puke and toilet contents, Hulk trying to hold his nose so he would be able to keep his spotless no vomit record he's been keeping for the last 55 years. Rin fell down to the floor her face facing the sky, she was still shaking and was occasionaly screaming. Once she calmed down she attempted to stand up but kept falling over, "Why is getting up so hard in real life but easy in video games!?" she yelled fumbling constantly just attempting to stand up straight. Eventually she gave in and lied on the floor covered in vomit, it stunk like hell but for some reason she said "This is actually quite nice and cozy"

Suddenly, the door of the room burst open, and out came two figures dressed in grey robes. One of them pulled down his hood, only to reveal a very buff and 20 years older Mighty the Armadillo. "Come with me if you want to live" he said in his best Terminator impression to the group as he put on some heart shaped glasses.

Hulk gasped, he had never thought of what Mighty would look like with a beard but he was amazed by how Mighty looked with one. Rin stared at him with a confused face, just how many new people who are trying to save are lives are going to appear she thought. Dispite his wonderful offer Rin stood up after using her head to lift her body and walked to Taco Bell.

**_Lul Lollenson (The Random Pie) and IJUSTWANNABUILDLEGOWHY would like to say that more chapters will be on there way, please share this with your m8's, friend request pending'ers and YouTubers. Until then see you next chapter._**


	2. Chapter 2: Rin Tezuka's quest for bacon

p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"The cold winter air wifted into Rin's nose as she walked her ass over to the nearest future Taco Bell. But only to find that there was no Taco Bell, only a Pizza Hut Taco Bell McDonalds, which is the combination of Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and McDonalds. Two other robed figures were following behind her, a sweet on the right's brow which he was failing to try and eat without using his hands. Rin looked back noticing the figures presence, they seemed very focused on following her tail no matter where she went. Rin stopped in her tracks after 25 Minutes of walking and found a gigantic store, so intimidatingly large that it casted a dark shadow over everything around it. It was…. Burger Tesco King Extra Extra and Knuckles. The manager of this monster was busy intimidating the customers with his large helmut and deep breathing. Dressed in a apron stood Darth Vador, shouting at a Bard who was playing black Metal and killed a Clown with it in the biscuit ille just as he was about to throw a molotov, that poor poor slowly stepped into the oversized mall constantly looking in different directions to observe her surroundings. There were Leprechauns everywhere. There was a Anime store that the Leprechauns were flocking to it, a Manga store with nothing but Dragon Ball Z, One Piece,weaboo shit, and Attack on Titan and a GAME store filled with nothing but Call of Duty and Dorito flavored Mountain Dew. Then suddenly, Rin bumped into the Nurse from scchoolhool !. The Nurse turned to Rin's direction with his classic unnecessarily smug smile. "Why hello Rin!" he called with a great big smile on his face, Rin's only reply was to just stand the and stare at him as if he had a gigantic wart covering his entire face from society./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"Then suddenly the Nurse just exploded casually and nobody did anything to stop it. Not even darth vador did anything, and he does a lot of things./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 114%;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"Rin then smiled and let out a sigh before saying "Thank the lorf" Rin then continued her epic conquest for food. The two hooded figures looked at her awkwardly, they knew that explosions where normal here in the real world, but that explosion was /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt;"special. /spanspan style="font-size: 11pt;"Rin eventually came across probably the weirdest store she ever seen, it was Sainsbury's...but everything was upside down and looked like a toddler's bedroom with pictures of "2spooky4me" everywhere./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 114%;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"Then suddenly, 10 armed Skeletons came out of no where armed with memes. And not good memes, they where…...…...…...…...… Rage Comics. Rin stepped back slowly not wanting to put up a fight she could not win, but the Sainsburys sign fell down behind her blocking the exit and revealing that the shop was…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...The real life…...…...…...…...…...…...…...…...version of….…...…...9GAG. The home of all memes, the site filled with secrets and more meme's then Tumblr's grandma can choke on, and there at the top of 9GAG was the king of it all. Christian Weston Chandler the creator of Sonichu in his Sonichu form. He looked like an ugly recolour of a recolour. Rin stared at Chris, her eyes full of haterid and hot pink. "Well well well, look what we have here. A new waifu for my collection!" Chris smiled a massive smile, his cheeks where falling off of his face, behind him the wall slid off to reveal thousands of animu waifus having a tea party with Sonichu characters. Mikasa from Attack on Titan was there as well, she was having tea and biscuits with Rosechu and/span span style="font-size: 11pt;"all of the sailor scouts. Rin yelled extremely loudly "I WILL NEVER BE YOUR WAFFLE, NOT IN A MILLION FUCKING YEARS!"/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"Chris-Chan laughted. "No not you! I'm talking about her!" and then Chris-Chan pointed over to the booze ille where there stood The Random Pie's, the co writer of the story's, Waifu Hanako./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="background: transparent;""span style="font-size: 11pt;"Oh I misunderstood you, I apolgize for my sudden explicit behaviour" Rin said but just then, Jorden fell out the sky holding a bunch of guns and wearing not only a hoddie with hatsune miku on it but AK47's and a sniper rifle and a BF4 dogtag around his kneck. "WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY DICKSTIFER!?"/span/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"And then, they had the most awesome battle th world had ever saw. There where bullets flying everywhere, and waifus were pouring out of their tea party cells like water being poured out of a cup. And as they all ran like headless flys, the weaboos where waiting outside, ready to kidnap the waifus again. As The Random Pie shot Naitsirhc in the head, Hanako was dragged away by a neckbeard in a 8 wheeled jeep. The Random Pie stopped shooting and then turned around, he dropped his guns and pulled out a minigun from his pocket somehow then yelled "DON'T WORRY HANAKO I WILL SAVE YOU! WITH THE POWER OF LOVE!" then ran off at the speed of sound constantly tredding over a bridge of dead skeleton corpses and doritos whilest the back to the future theme played./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"Rin was hiding away from the crowd of weeaboo's making sure she was not made a permanent wife to stay always at there side against her will, the barrel she was hiding in was about to give way and she did not know what to do next once her cover was blown. And then suddenly Rin was teleported out of the barrel to a place Rin had never seen before. There was fog and shit everywhere. But not actual shit that would be gross. The dark green grass and large sky above her made her feel splendid, the fog smelt like burnt toast from 2 years ago, the wind was blowing hard downwards, the clouds were doing the harlem shake and the trees were upside down. She had landed into a place of true happiness. Rin shed a tear whilest smiling just by observing this magnificent world, it looked like someone threw up there lunch...a truly bootifal sight to be seen. "This is all I ever wanted in life…." she said engulfed by her own joy../span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"Then suddenly a shadow of a person was coming towards her from the fog. Rin could see two triangles coming out of the person's head. It was…./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"A CAT GIRL. Though she didn't look like a human cat girl, there was something off about her. Maybe it was the grey skin or the fact her cat ears where actually horns, but Rin just put a imaginary hand to her chin and stared at her. Yeah she still couldn't pin point what was off about this cat girl. Mayby it was the rainbow coloured hair pin or the t-shit justin beiber top or it might be those jeans that were made in 1972,. Just then another cat girl came out of the fog looking nearly exactly the same at first, and then punched the other in the face. ":33 THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR LIKING JUSTIN BIEBER YOU HIPPY" The maybe seven year old Cat girl smiled in victory over the other cat girl with a broken nose./span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"The other cat girl introduced herself while stepping on the Justin Bieber loving one's face, she said her name was Catnip or something Rin didn't really care. Rin continued to wander the unknown dimension looking for any more lovely sights, the cat girl following her in hot pursuit, but just then she came across a golden tomato fused with a brown apple, it was shining casting massive shadow over the hills. ":33 Oh that's our holy fruit, the darkshadowweafuntime!" The Olive wearing cat girl explained ":33 It was put there by Internet Jesus, the master of all Trolls, moderator of 4Chan,Zerochan,Katawachan and creator of Urban Dictionary who controls us to destroy websites with our power of being fucking morons!" The cat girl's eyes sparkled at the mention of Internet Troll Jesus. Rin stared at the cat girl in surprise they have a god thats sounds very much like her's before turning to face the statue again and observing it, suddenly out of nowhere a bunch of Ninja's dressed in ties came out of nowhere holding plastic power ranger toys and wielding a carboard Omnitrix (Ben 10's magic watch thinge) on there wrists and arms. "HUEHUEHUE, We are the FUKCNNUTS-F, the Fucking Universal KingSized Caramelldansen Nullifyer Titanic Skulleve Force. We have detected a higher then Snoop Dogg rating in the Fucktarous sector and it is coming from this very structure! Which in other words means...were gonna mug ur swag" they all said perfectly synchronized with eachover. Then all of there team ran like little girls towards the statues and picked it up using a carboard box with a up sign on it and then downloaded it on a Nintendo 3DS which had a Vinesauce symbol on it. "IF YOU WANT YOUR PRECIOUS STRUCTURE BACK YOUR GOING TO HAVE TO FACE US AT ARE SECRET LAIR, which is far east from hear next to a big wal mart store and facing a shop that touches the clouds called Sample Text"/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; font-variant: normal; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 114%; text-decoration: none;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"The troll cat girl gave the ninja men a strange look before getting out a futuristic troll lazor gun and shot one in the face faster than you could say "Britney Spears likes peparoni sandwiches"/span/p  
p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 114%;"span style="font-size: 11pt;"She then shot all of them at the same time with her troll powers because why the fuck/span not? All of them fell to the ground at the same time except for one of them, which was probably shitting this ninja plant jumped back in reaction to the gunfire before running up to the last one standing and doing a KICK IN THE FACE to it, He stumbled back and then fell to the floor before slowly dieing. "I finnaly did something useful….IM NOT A USELESS CHARACTER ANYMORE!" Rin said happily jumping up and down before tripping over her own feet again. The catnip troll picked her back up and give her a thumbs up ":33 Nice one Tin!" she congratulated her. Rin then continued her epic conquest, adventuring into the unknown and seeing new sights. Although there was not much to see, most things looked like they were made on the Unity engine and the billboards looked like they were made on the Atari 2600./p 


End file.
